Defn: a human male displaying evidence of devolution - exhibits distinctive "caveman-like" tendencies. This man often dribbles in public places; cannot drink a beverage without spilling it on himself, the floor or someone else; may also run into objects like lampposts & bushes; has a definite "sloopish & short legged" running style that is slow and low to the ground, often resulting in the dragging of knuckles.

These throwback neanderthals, along with their questionable diet, should clearly be avoided.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Beware of Attack Soccer Mom

Family life in full effect over the past several days, that and feeling like crap - seemed like a bad eating day was followed by a 24hr+ flu bug.  One more excuse not to run - justifying a need to rest my knees in hopes of being able to run better in the upcoming weeks / months.  By running better I really I am hoping for less discomfort / mild pain in the knees.  So, I haven't run since Wednesday morning - if that poor excuse of a run really counted anyway - won't till probably Monday.

So, a family life experience has unfolded over the week.......
  My kids and I bought this fridge magnet for my wife last year for Mothers Day.  Amongst the many other things she does is / was coach kids Soccer at the Y.  Was: hasn't this past Fall & Spring due to blowing out her right ACL - playing Soccer.

  Last Fall the kiddos didn't play soccer - prior to that it had been about 3 years each at the Y.  Then this (late) Winter & Spring my (12 yr) son got the chance to practice with a local competitive team 2 to 3 nights a week.  My (10 yr) daughter actually joined a non-competitive team.  These 2 teams are actually w/ 2 different organizations / clubs.  Both with their merits / non-merits.

In any case, the Spring season finished, school finished, now we are in Summer mode.  Next fall, amongst other things, Soccer starts up again, both kids want to play again.  To join (more) competitive teams they have to go through tryouts.   Tryouts have been for about 2 hrs each night this past Tues, Wed, Thurs.
As mentioned, 2 different clubs in town, which meant 2 different places for tryouts, 2 different costs, 2 tough choices - where to tryout for the kids.   Got to be responsible here - cost is a factor, possibility of carpooling to games factors in, playing with (kids) friends.  Then there is getting the kids the best opportunities to learn, play, have fun, be coached right - all while they are still young, being school students and us wanting to be the greatest parents ever, because they are after all the greatest kids ever.

In reality, they are not the greatest soccer players - but they can play and like most kids / people - given the right atmosphere - will improve and get better.
So, after a family meeting - was decided they would both try out for the club in which my daughter had played - which amongst other things is a bigger club, w/ more teams (6) and cheaper.  That put my son on the first night with kids he has never met or played with before - most of them had been w/ the club for years.
I was w/ him, my wife w/ our daughter.   Texting back and forth, my wife was pleased / encouraged w/ how our Daughters tryouts proceeded Tuesday, as well as the next 2 nights and as a result - had good expectations of making a decent team, w/ friends, a good coach etc. 

First night for my son the huge group of U-13 boys get split into groups - those who played for the club before, in their various different skill levels.  The rest of the kids - whom the coaches described as "those who have never played for (insert club name here) before".  Well, that was kind of like saying those who had never played soccer before.  They went w/ someone, not a coach and for 2 hrs or so basically got nothing done, played kick around and had no other coaches stop by to watch them.  After scrimmage, I was a little peeved, my kid told me he was bored out of his mind.  I was questioning if we had made the right choice.

Woke up next morning & we had gotten a late night e-mail from the boys coach at the other club he had practiced with for the past 4 months - in essence begging him to come over, almost assuring him a spot on a decent team.  After a few e-mails to the coach & other parents - we decided that was the right thing to do.

So, Wed and Thursday we did the switch, just w/ him.  Our daughter was supposedly doing good and according to my wife and the other soccer Moms - should make a decent team, along w/ her friends.  Good thing happened after the boys Wed tryouts - the kids were all assured a place on a (1 of 2) team.  Thursday morning we got an e-mail and team selection was announced.  So, it seems we had made the right choice and our son looks set for next Fall / Spring. 

Not sure what this will do for his running, which he really enjoys and does well at.  We will cross that bridge a later time.

  So now the drama is building for our daughter.  This is a bigger club, so there are 6 teams to fill at the U-11 age group.  2 for the elite level, 2 for the competitive, 2 at development.  For her tryouts they had her & all her friends / similar ability players slotted in the competitive level.  We thought that was about right.  They were developmental last season.

  Coaches were to fill the 2 elite teams Wed night / Thursday before tryouts.  After Thursday night tryouts the coaches were then going to fill competitive, then by Saturday night fill the 2 development teams.

  This is not easy on the parents - the coaches make phone calls to invite the kids onto the teams.  So, Thursday evening the waiting began.  Soccer Moms are texting back and forth - "did you get a call yet?".  Kids are sound asleep in bed.  Soccer Moms are doing the best to convince themselves, their husbands and their Soccer Mom friends that all will work out great and the kids will be on the same team, a competitive team w/ so and so coach.  Our phone stays quiet.

 11:45 pm - 3 of the 5 girls in the posse - that being the group of 5 girls / friends that my daughter is in trying out together - have gotten the phone call and are in the competitive #1 team.  My daughter and her best friend have not.  Soccer Moms texts are now much shorter and include "WTF"

 So, nothing last night.  An e-mail this morning from the club in essence saying "hang in there ladies - the calls are ongoing".  As I started this post, I got an e-mail from my wife, our daughters best friend has just got the phone call and she is on the competitive #2 team.  I called home - just to see if our phone was working.  No-one else has called. 

Growing up I hated being the last kid picked. 

Now, as a parent - it is worse.  WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE PICK MY KID!!!!!

Beware of the Attack Soccer Mom Dad.

Will update w/ any progress.....waiting......waiting......waiting......

Update...... She got the phone call & was picked, on the #2 competitive team.  Not what she, the Soccer Mom, or I had hoped - nor had been lead to believe.  She is still a kid, will adapt and (hopefully) learn and do well - and because she loves to play soccer, will enjoy it.  The parents may take a while to get over it.


  1. Ack. I have similar type stories that come with a lot of angst ... all the same themes: what is right for the kid, supporting the schedule, school, other activities ... I guess on whole it is a good problem to have but ... DAMN.

    My take on what it does for the running: don't sweat that. I know you know that but I hear so many cases of folks who are wonderful runners after picking it up at 20ish. They just played sports when they were kids.

  2. Thanks GZ, it sucks when as a parent you think that others may think your kid is a loser - becomes really personal. But in the grand scheme of things - who cares what they think. We can't control that. Still, the family is ready for heavy doses of ice cream tonight, that usually takes away all or most of the badness.

  3. Sweet on the 'scream.

    Yeah, I try to pitch it as a lesson - even when the pill is bitter. There is something to be learned there, even if it is sadly that some folks are just plain jerks.