Defn: a human male displaying evidence of devolution - exhibits distinctive "caveman-like" tendencies. This man often dribbles in public places; cannot drink a beverage without spilling it on himself, the floor or someone else; may also run into objects like lampposts & bushes; has a definite "sloopish & short legged" running style that is slow and low to the ground, often resulting in the dragging of knuckles.

These throwback neanderthals, along with their questionable diet, should clearly be avoided.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Beware the Goo, Bacon and Cough Syrup

I'm usually not one to vent, speak my mind or share my opinions on much of anything.  I have been accused before of being a "smart mouthed little brat" - even at 43 years old that sometimes does apply.  My brain often does not stay on topic for long.  Sheesh, I'm just a couple of lines into a blog post and I forgot what I was going to write about.

Oh yeah, I remember.  Time for an obligatory warning that this post could turn out to be a messy read.  Kind of like what happened way back when I was growing up in New Zealand and one day I decided to see how many people I could make throw up.

Answer - a lot.  How?  We had a deep fryer where we at times would see what could be fried up:  eggs, hot dogs, bananas and even ice-cream were tried.  The one that seemed to work on peoples lower tract the best was mashed potatos - coated in home made batter - with bacon bits in the mashed potato.  At least that's what I told people.  Those of you who have cats - take a look at the cat food and tell me that doesn't look like chopped up bacon.

Much less stomach churning, but New Zealand related - I just heard a "Kiwi" won the world Scrabble Championships.  Yippee - I guess.  What do you win for that?  A dictionary?

Back to topic, I think..... I have always struggled it seems to have a "good gut".  I drive a lot and there are times when the inside of my car smells so bad my eyes water.  My son is convincing me that what I have is hereditary.  After his soccer practice last night I picked him and 2 other 12 year old boys - words cannot describe the "atmosphere" in the car on the ride home.  If and when I do that carpool experience again I might have to see if NASA has a space suit I can use.

WARNING - this next paragraph should not be read - it is too much information

I mentioned yesterday that since Friday my gut has been not right.  But in a sick and twisted way - it felt better to belt out gas than what I was squirting out over the weekend.

I think I have a problem with GU and the other things like that.  Last Friday before I went for my 8 mile run I took a couple of "energy blasts" - I think they are a relative of GU, Shot Blocks etc.  The sickly, sweet taste of them has been in my throat since then.  The barfworthy thought of them makes my gut spin since.  The result of eating them was beyond description.

I don't think I can eat any of those things again.  I'm still fairly new to them.  Last year I ran a marathon in September and had not tried any of them before - I was scared to, so I actually carried a banana with me for the first part of the race - eating it around mile 16.  I did crash and burn a few miles later though - for whatever reason.

By the time I ran a marathin this past May I had started trying them - I had a couple of GUs or HammerGels or CliffShots or something during the race.  They tasted disgusting but seemed to have no adverse effects on me.

Since then though, each time I have tried them in some shape or form - whether it is during a training run or a race - both my gut and my brain has "thrown a wobbly" - that's a New Zealand phrase that probably doesn't need interpretation.

The solution?  Definitely not "Bacon and Potato Fritters".   I really don't know - but anything sweet, fruity or "gel like" in substance is making me look for a bucket right now.

This video doesn't make a lot of sense.....


  1. my kids bought me a "WARNING: CONTAINS DANGEROUS GASES" shirt.

    So the banana was okay, but the sugars from a gel - not so much?

  2. I mean I know the gels were not good, just checking on other sugars.

  3. For some reason Orange juice is not "sitting" well. Surprisingly though - things like chocolate and jelly beans are okay. I've never really had any problems with foods in my life - I hate getting old.

  4. I thought I was the only one with a "soft" stomach... Don't envy the quandary you are in at all.