Defn: a human male displaying evidence of devolution - exhibits distinctive "caveman-like" tendencies. This man often dribbles in public places; cannot drink a beverage without spilling it on himself, the floor or someone else; may also run into objects like lampposts & bushes; has a definite "sloopish & short legged" running style that is slow and low to the ground, often resulting in the dragging of knuckles.

These throwback neanderthals, along with their questionable diet, should clearly be avoided.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Caveman or Pirate

Full disclosure - when unable to run, the exercise of the mind is a terrible thing to do instead of hill repeats waste.  In other words, with my back out of whack, I'm going (more) nuts.

Bear with me for a trip down a less travelled trail..... Lets just say that this world is really a SyFy channel original movie.  You know, the movies that have ridiculous titles, along with hilarious descriptions / summaries of the movie.  For example: Jersey Shore Shark Attack - "Albino bull sharks are no match for attitude, fist pumps and spray tans".  Or the classic(?): Sharktopus - "A half-shark, half-octopus creature creates terror in Mexico".

With that exercise in mind numbing mush behind us - lets just call everyone in the world either a Caveman or a Pirate.  For the lovely female reader(s) of this poor excuse of a blog, forgive me for just a moment - Replace Caveman for Cavechick, Pirate for umm, hmmm, Pirate I guess.  This is my blog - so your either a Caveman or Pirate.  But before you call me a cavemen because my blog is about a so-called "knuckledragging runner" - it is simply titled that because knuckledragging pirate dot com was taken (or eaten).

You may be asking: "which is better"?  Well, thanks for asking.  Let me help you with that by going to where we always go for answers we can trust: the government the internet.

I'm done with Google for a bit and so I typed into Bing: What is a caveman?  It took a few pages before a few photos of legendary shirtless Ultra runners popped up - we won't post those here.  Instead - the Wikipedia page refers to Cavemen as Neanderthals and also refers to them as a "troglodyte".  Excuse me?  A trog what you say? Frankly - that bothers me a little, not sure why - although it seems like a good title for a SyFy movie.

As for "what is a pirate"?  Leaving wikipedia (cause the pictures are boring) and exercising (see, I may not be running, but I am getting in my exercise) our way through cyberspace - we come to Yutube for better pirate and caveman definitions, and by that I mean fun videos.....

Unfortunately - for me at least - I searched for movies depicting these Cavemen and Pirates and while for most people the movies that first come to mind are

Let me be the first next to credit the caveman for introducing us to music: .
However, the pirate has their very own language:
Crikey - what a stupid post this is - but I've got this far so I'm gonna try to bring it back to something to do with running......

So, Caveman or Pirate?  Which is the better athlete? Well, I already referenced those legendary shirtless ultrarunners, not saying they look like cavemen or anything - but they don't look like this guy. 
I would think that it is likely that the "Caveman Athlete" was truly a remarkable multi sport athlete - a prehistoric decathlete even.  Sprinting after his potential lunch all the while trying to throw a spear at it as he jumped up and over a rock.

However, the "Pirate Athlete" would surely have to be considered as an impressive dude also.  Travelling to far away destinations to embark on seemingly unfathomable conquests for mere mortals along poorly marked trails and to be rewarded - even if they do waiver off the trail - they get first place and the prizemoney treasure.

This post has sunk to a new low - I have no idea what I was writing about to get to this point.  

Oh yeah, who wants to be a Pirate?  Or a Caveman?  Ummm, not me (okay maybe just a little).  But, I give up, falling in line with those who are politically correct and don't like to be called names, or pidgeonholed into being described as one thing or another....... I admit, we are not all Pirates or Cavemen, or even Cavechicks. 

We are just plain old people who are stuck with being who we are.  Or are we? 

In a round about way - I guess the point of this post (aside from revealing the easily distracted niff norf that I am) is that in the past 3 weeks or so, since the last time I was able to run - I've been thinking about running, wondering what I can or want to do next.   I will not admit to thinking about running the Pikes Peak Marathon next year dressed as a Pirate.   I will admit to thinking about running differently - not Pirate-like - but doing different things related to running. 

I like to run, I have missed being able to run.  Admittedly, writing a blog post like this is the most exhausting thing I have done in 3 weeks.  I have enjoyed eating a little more than before but admittedly have done so with wanting to get back running with something to do and work on.  With those thoughts comes a desire to try to run a 5 6 minute mile, to run a 50K, or 50 miler even.  Those are not a reality for me though, at least not for now.  Maybe one day, I still have to / need to wait a couple more weeks before I can go running again - so in the meantime, I'm thinking about writing a SyFy original movie.

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