The Rock

For illustration sake, think of a large rock.   Here's the thing about a rock.  You can hide under it.  You can be squashed by it.  You can climb it.  I'm sure you can do several other things with it too - but for this post I am focusing on the 3 items mentioned.

I've been hiding under a rock for a while.  Have posted once in the past month and read only just a few of other people's posts.  That's not because I have not been interested in doing either of these - it's just that the rock I have been hiding under has been squashing me a bit lot.

Realizing this is a running blog - admittedly where there is often less about running and more about other stuff like my family exploits and the seemingly odd science experiment that is my creaky, broken, old body - this post is a tough one to hit "publish" on.

If you are reading this - I guess I did post it - if it is just me reading it, then I am just writing it for therapy for myself.  I am a very private person - so in putting this out on the World Wide Web - admittedly to an unknown amount of anonymous people and very, very few that I know is a public step of awkwardness on my part.  Am I crying out for sympathy, for acknowledgement, for help, for understanding?  Yes.  No.  I don't know.

My wife and I have filed for divorce.  That is the rock that is squashing me.  Yet for a few years I have been hiding under a rock and avoiding what is going on at the home front.  Colorado rules mandate that it takes about 90 days or so for it to come to official.  So, by early February - unless her heart changes - I will be divorced.  That will suck.  I don't want it to happen.

Right now the rock that is squashing me looks unmovable, unavoidable.  My 3 kids will be greatly affected by this.  That sucks even more.  One thing that I have realized during this time is how much I love them and what they mean to me.   The other thing that I have realized is that I have turned my back on another rock.  Because of the world we live in I won't mention names of who that rock is - but I will ask that those of you who call upon the One who has a name that includes "The Rock" - I ask you to include me in that conversation.  Thanks.